I feel sorry for morbidly obese people, especially the ones who are obese due to circumstances beyond their control. If there existed a button I could press that would cure them, I would press it. I might even go so far as to walk across a room in order to press it. Not a big room though, that's more than I'd be willing to do. I'd walk across a moderately sized room in order to press a button that would relieve someone of their obesity. That's how selfless I am. Actually, reflecting on this post, maybe the button pressing is more for my benefit, as opposed to theirs. If they weren't obese, I wouldn't have to feel bad for them when I saw them, and then I'd feel better. I guess them not being obese would be a happy side-effect of me making myself feel better. That wouldn't make me too selfless at all, would it?
On a similar note, Tim Hortons has decided to thank us by offering some free swims during the summer! Yay! Thanks for sending me to a crowded pool full of screaming children splashing around getting in my way when I'm trying to swim laps. I have an idea Tim Hortons, why not give me something that I want, like a free cup of tea or 25% off a soup and sandwich deal?? Or, better yet, why not thank me by getting my damn order right?? Thanks for nothing, jerk-asses.