Blog 2019

Fast forward to 2019. The world is in turmoil - Donald Trump is the President of the United States, and global warming threatens to extinct us all! (For those of you asking if 'extinct' can be used as a verb, well, it's no wonder the world is so messed up...people worrying about the minutia of grammar when you should be worrying about carbon emissions and the melting polar icecaps... I suggest you dehead your ass and focus on more important things). Where was I? Oh yes, the Canada is in the middle of an opioid crisis, and, just when we thought it couldn't get worse, the lead on my curling team hurt himself and can't play for a while. Man, it's just one kick in the teeth after another. So, this brings us to why we're here - in order to convince someone to fill in for our injured lead, I agreed to come out of retirement and write a blog post. No fanfare, no pomp and circumstance, no twitter, no instagram, just good old blogger, a keyboard, and enough prescription opiods to kill a horse (just enough to keep those creative juices flowing).

Game 1

Game 1 didn't last long, as Brendon fell and broke his arm.

Game 2 After a two week break, team Crowley found themselves back on the ice, for the first time again, trying to get that first game under their proverbial belts. So, it takes a pretty terrible team to get shut out in curling. Really, if you have any idea what the hell is going on, you should be able to use your last rock advantage to draw for a point. Well, whether it was the time off, or the PTSD from Game 1, team Crowley just couldn't cobble together a series of decent shots and found themselves on the losing end of a 11-0 drubbing. If there's one good thing about getting shut-out in curling, it's that there are 3 other people who you can blame. Now, as the reigning 'most sportsmanlike player' in the league, you'd think that I'd be taking some amount of responsibility for our poor performance...well, if you thought that, you'd be wrong. This just goes to show you that the system is broken and anything where people vote on a winner is just messed up. Things should be decided, not by a democratic vote by the people, but by a committee of non-moronic people who know better than the nameless rabble who really only care whether or not the Maple Leafs win, but I digress.  To make a long story short, after a few more fruitless attempts to score a point, team Crowley's spirit was smashed and broken, much like Brendon's arm just 2 weeks past, and so we gave up, scoreless and defeated.

Game 3

After a week of careful reflection, team Crowley found themselves back on the ice, cautiously optimistic, as, don't they say that when you've hit rock bottom, you have nowhere to go but up?  (well, after being in that Oshawa ER, I think that when a lot of people hit rock bottom, they don't go up at all, they just stay at rock bottom and they keep on doing that heroin...)  ANYWAY, this is getting long, so, to make a long story a little less long, after 3 or 4 ends, the score was 9-1 and the opponents had had enough.  Victory was ours!  This takes our season record to 1-1.  Well done team!!