Discrimination!!

Well, it seems that 2 girls in Winnipeg who wanted to play on the boys' hockey team have won their human rights complaint and are now eligible, I suppose, to at least try out for the boys team.

Now, this is interesting, because, if preventing women from playing on a men's team is discrimintation based on sex, then preventing men from playing on the women's team would be as well. (That reminds me of that episode of "Diff'rent Strokes" when Willis was one of the contestants for the prom queen because he claimed it was discriminatory, and of course he won because all the men voted for him, while the women's votes were split 3 ways!! Damn, that show was ahead of its time.) Anyways, they claim that the women's team was terrible so they didn't want to play with them, but now, it seems that they've opened the door for boys who don't make the mens team to try out for the women's team. And, because they can't discriminate based on sex, the boys are likely better than the girls (IF THE STORY IS CORRECT AND SOME OF THE GIRLS CAN'T EVEN SKATE) and the girls team may be filled with boys. That will basically ruin the program, and no women hockey players will develop at all. Isn't that kind of counter productive in terms of women's hockey? I imagine that not many boys would want to play on a women's team, but who knows? Maybe they should do it just to make a point. Seems to me that they're moving towards just having teams and allowing everyone to sign-up, which is fine, unless you want to develop woman hockey players.

It would really be funny if the 2 girls who started all this didn't make the "men's" team OR the "woman's" team because they just weren't good enough. Some people....always wanting more.

Special Features 4

Well, it's time for another sneak peek at some of the special features that you'll get when you join my exclusive blog club.

You'll get behind the scenes footage of me actually writing blog posts. (In front of a live studio audience no less!)



It does a lot for your self esteem, unless they follow you to the driving range/batting cages.



Those jerks.

And, you'll see me attempt to beat the world record for solving the rubik's cube blind-folded.



All this extra material totally justifies the price. Don't delay, join today!

I am a Winner.

I'm not sure why I don't want to post my last name, maybe it's to prevent the stalkers and identity theives from finding me. ANYWAYS, I actually won a photo contest. I'm pretty proud of it if I may say so myself. I might actually have thought of a title if I'd thought I'd win. Something like "Tree" or "Field" or "Tree in Field", something meaningful like that.

Week in Review

Blah blah blah Steve Irwin. Blah blah blah Natascha Kampusch. Blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah September 11. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah Maria Sharapova? Yes. Blah blah blah!

Rubik's Cube Blindfolded.

Check this out. It hurts my brain to think that someone can do this. Unless, of course, he's cheating.

Drive home from Cottage

Just in case you were wondering what it's like to drive home from the cottage for multiple hours, here it is.



I wish it took longer...

Watch this

This guy is funny.

I'm sorry I haven't updated much (not sorry enough to update though! Ha!)

Anyways, sometimes I think of something to write, but then I never really sit down to do it, so it just sits in my head as an idea. Plus, Big Brother 7 is on 3 nights a week, so that really eats into my free time.

$5700? Now try listening

I rarely buy lottery tickets. Basically, I think it's a waste of money. As Dave Letterman put it once, "You have about the same odds of winning whether you buy a ticket or not." (ie. zero). Anyways, when the prize gets 'big' (>$30 million) then, sometimes, if I think of it, I'll buy a few tickets, just in case.

My girlfriend mentioned it last weekend -

GF - "We should buy lottery tickets because the jackpot is $42 million."
Me - "Ummm, sure. I have an idea, instead of buying tickets, why don't you give me the $20 you'd spend on the tickets, then when you don't win, I'll give it back, and it'll be like you won $20!!"
GF - "Shut up"

Anyways, we were on our way home on the day of the draw and she said, "Oh, we should get lottery tickets!" so we stopped.

Whenever I've purchased tickets in the past, I've always picked the same numbers (quick pick is for chumps). 10 21 23 25 33 44.

What numbers came up you ask??

Well,

10

21

23

33

44

and





03

Damn you Vincent Damphousse. If only you'd worn number 03 in Montreal instead of 25 I'd be RICH. RICH!!!

I kind of feel bad for people who have spent tons of money over the years and never won anything, but that doesn't last too long before the thoughts of "what can I blow this money on?" take over.

It's for our own good!

I think this is overkill though.

U.S. authorities banned the carrying of liquids onto flights after the arrest of 24 people in an alleged plot to blow up U.S.-bound planes using explosives disguised as drinks and other common products.

Note to self - design a bomb made from bras and t-shirts.

Mock Boar if Vacant...

On an unrelated note, it's hot here (by 'here' I mean Canada.) It's hot in Canada this week. I don't have air conditioning either, I just have 2 fans. 2 damn useless fans that don't really help much when it's so goddamn hot. It sucks when it's hot in Canada, the hockey rinks all melt and the igloos start to fall apart, and the polar bears migrate into the cities looking for shady places to rest. Screw you global warming.

Here's a vacation riddle. What's more disgusting than a huge giant spider that's the size of your hand? Give up? A huge giant spider the size of your hand with a bunch of babies!!!



Yech.

I also read a book. That's right, all that time away from tv and the internet forced me to read. It gave me a raging headache, but I read The DaVinci Code. I was going to include it as a book club book, except that I violated the first rule of my book club, which is of course, to not read the book. Anyways, it was ok I guess. I think it's only common sense to think that Jesus would have carnal knowledge of the ladies.

Hot babe - I'm so thirsty!
Jesus - Here, have some water.
Hot babe - Thanks. (drinks the water)
Jesus - Psyche! I just changed it to wine! Here, this is really water.
Hot babe drinks the water.
Jesus - Ha! Got you again!! That was wine too....you drunk yet?

After finishing it, I thought that my blog would be better if I incorporated some code to give it that air of mystery, but that would probably take too much effort, so I imagine that idea will be scrapped.

TENACIOUSLY, NOAH VOICED, "YUKON!"

I'm going away

That's right, no new posts for over a week! That's not really much different than usual lately, so maybe you wouldn't even have known that I was gone. Regardless, I've saved you all from coming here until next Monday.

Have you ever gotten to a point in your blog where you think that more people should read it than actually do? But you don't really know how to get more traffic, and you're too lazy to figure it out? And then you see some really shitty blogs with lots and lots of traffic but minimal content? And then you think that maybe you should be spending your time in a more constructive manner? I'm pretty sure I'm at that point. I'm not going to quit though, I was just curious.

It's time I updated

I was at the grocery store today and I came up with an idea that I'm sure everyone else has had at some point. Cart pushing should follow the same rules as driving a car. Here are the main ones.

3. Stay to the right
2. Signal your turns.
1. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY.

Simple rules, yet, apparently, not so simple to follow.

What the.....

THIS IS NOT HALF!! This is a new low with respect to shitty sub cutting. Just when you think the cut could not be worse, this is what you get. Never underestimate a grumpy unmotivated teenager's ability to cut a sub in two equal halves.

Special Features 3!!!

Well, it's time for another sneak peek at some of the special features that you'll get when you join my exclusive blog club.

Here's a scene of me writing my soccer post.




Another common special feature on DVDs is the story board. Yeah, let's see some crappy drawings of some movie scenes, that'd be interesting. Having said that, I see the value, and here's a story board for a blog post.




Trust me, special features are well worth the extra money. Don't delay, join today!

Happy Canada Day.

I think it's time that time went to the metric system. Distance is measured in meters, and other distances in multiples and submultiples of 10 (centimeters and kilometers). Temperature is as well. Water boils at 100 degrees Celcius and freezes at 0, and you have 100 degrees in between. Volume is the same. You have litres, millitres etc. Time, on the other hand, has weird units, like hours and minutes. How many hours in a day? If you were thinking metric, you'd expect a muliple, (or submultiple) of 10, but you'd be wrong. There are 24 hours in a day, and minutes and seconds are equally messed up. So, what I'm proposing, (just to keep everyone on their toes) is to introduce a new unit of time (equal to 24 hours) called the "Day". Minutes and seconds become obsolete, and you get millidays and centidays, kilodays etc.

How would this change life, you may ask? Well, instead of tv shows starting at 4:30, for example, they'd start at 0.6875 (because 4:30 is 16.5 hours into a day, I simply divided 16.5/24 to convert to metric.) You could still say, "4:30", and most people would know what you were talking about, but they'd shake their heads at your inability to let go of the past an embrace the future. The only problem with this (that I can think of) would be that, say, the United States refused to use metric time, and everyone else converted. Then figuring out what time Friends is on would require a calculator.

Update on New Years Resolutions

Fake Story about Made Up Kids IV

"Dad", said the boy, "Why is the sky blue?"

"Well", I said, "It has something to do with diffraction of light, or was it refraction of light? And the blue light isn't scattered as much as the rest of the spectrum, or is it scattered more? Don't ask me", I said, "I don't have a degree in physics!"

"Yes you do", said the boy.

"Oh yeah, I do", I said, "I do..."

Why I don't like Soccer

It's boring. A ridiculously one sided soccer match ends up with a score of 1-0. That's one goal, and a lot of kicking a ball around for 90+ minutes.

Soccer players run around on grass with shin guards on, then when they fall, they roll around for a while like they've been shot. Anyone who has ever fallen on grass (ie. everyone) will tell you that it doesn't hurt. Getting kicked in the shin when you're wearing shin guards? Doesn't hurt. Goalies dive around on the grass and take balls off the face (hee hee) and they don't roll around in agony. What's the difference? There isn't any, thus proving that soccer players are pansies. Plus, these are elite athletes we're talking about. Maybe if it were a field full of senior citizens I could accept people getting hurt when they fall down.

Soccer fans are obnoxious. I'm not really sure I can add anything to that.

I think there are more reasons, but I can't think of them, and I'm tired. I'm sorry my blog has sucked recently, but there has been a lot of soccer to watch, and watching soccer just drains me because it's so dumb.

Photo Contest

There is a photo contest to take pictures of wildlife in and around the location where I work. I thought I'd participate, and I've taken a few pictures. I'm not sure they're contest winners, but I still have a few weeks (just maybe not the patience). Anyways, I was looking for some opinions in the minipoll. (Click photos to enlarge)





Maybe I'll go back to take some more...

Please, just cut my hair...

When you're as attractive as I am, you have to spend a little more time grooming than others (read "ugly people"). Anyways, when I was at First Choice (getting a $10 haircut) the hairdresser was distracted because people were parking beside her car, so she kept checking the lot (I checked the lot on the way out and there was no car there worth worrying about). She was clearly distracted, which made me a little nervous. I'm nervous in general at the hairdressers (because you get what you pay for, and I only pay about $10) so the added stress of the First Choice hairdresser being distracted made it even worse. AND, speaking of distracting, I don't like chatting with the hairdresser. I want a haircut, not small talk about the weather. "Yes, it's hot outside, now please just cut my hair", "Yes, I work around here, just keep cutting please." Why fill a perfectly good silent 15 minutes with mindless blabber?