Friday, March 31, 2006

People are Cruel.

Whether it's seals or bulls or sharks or chickens or cows, I think the main point is, "People are cruel". I guess that's the problem with being so evolved as a species, some of us use it to take advantage of the weaker species for our own benefit while some use it to feel sorry for those of whom the cruel ones take advantage.

The world is way too fucked up to worry about the seals. Let's worry about people killing people first, then let's worry about the cute animals. Then, when that's all done, we'll move on to the ugly animals, THEN, if there's time, we'll stop killing the insects too. THEN, when that's all done, we'll stop walking around for fear of killing an ant and we'll stop breathing for fear of stealing the air from some other living thing that is just as deserving. Then, when we're all dead, the circle will start over and cruelest species will dominate once again until, of course, they start feeling bad about it.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

New? I don't think so...

Since when did taking something out of something make it 'new'?

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They just took the damn bacon out! Plus, since when were 2 free downloads a selling point? I get all the free downloads I want, and I don't have to buy "Pep-and-Baconless" Pizza Pops (but I do anyways).

Here's another "new" product that just seems to be new packaging.

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They say it's EXTREME but it basically tastes like any other Excel gum. I did notice that what they are probably trying to pass off as electricity (it is called VOLTAGE afterall) looks a bit like sperm. Now there's an idea for a new product - Sperm gum!

Sugar Free Excel Ejaculate - For that right after a blow job feeling.

I have a few more ideas for 'new' products too. This is basically "Coke" but, taking a page from the Pillsbury book of new products, I've taken out the syrup and sugar. I call this, "New Coke Light".

And I think this is a real winner as well. Man, I'm just full of winning ideas.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Push the Fart Button, I Dare You...

Inspired by Corinna, I wrote my own quiz. No pushing, there's plenty of quiz for everyone.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Take that look from off your face.

How do you stand up for 2 hours, listen to loud noise that may or may not sound like you think it should, surround yourself with drunken idiots, pay $80 for it, AND, here's the kicker, not feel ripped off?

What the fook you lookin' at?

Oasis is awesome.

(photo courtesy of my sister)

Friday, March 17, 2006

A Day in the Life - Now with Special Features.

Well, because DVDs have bonus materials and special features that just serve to add another DVD and jack up the price, I figured that I should do the same thing with my blog.

If you become a member of my exclusive blog club, you'll be privy to such things as

Bloopers like this

Video Sharing at

Audio commentary on posts (you can play it while reading any post).

this is an audio post - click to play

Behind the scenes specials on the making of "A Day in the Life"

From my North Country post.

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Video Sharing at

Trust me, it's worth it. If you join, you'll get hours of extra features and bonus materials. Don't be a chump, join today!

Update on updates

Sometimes I feel bad when I don't update for a while, but then I think that nobody really cares anyways, so that helps. I've been too busy watching the Tim Horton's Brier. For those of you who know what that is, shut up. I like it.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Costa Rica

Well, I'm back.

A few things about Costa Rica.

1. Some of the roads are so bad, it takes over an hour to go 20 km. There was a report of a taxi falling into a 2 meter deep pot-hole. This brings us to another interesting fact about Costa Rica. They refer to 'massive craters' as 'pot-holes'.

2. You can see animals in the wild, which is pretty cool.


I really wanted to see a jaguar, but, of course, they don't really want to be seen. They like to keep their private lives private. Just like celebrities. Just like celebrities! Once I made that important comparison, finding one was easy.

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Just because you put a hat and sunglasses on, doesn't mean we can't tell who you are. Animals are so dumb, no wonder we catch and teach them to do silly tricks for our own amusement.

(I find it odd that that jaguar is a) driving a car, and b) has Britney Spear's baby, but, I imagine, if given the opportunity, Britney Spears would have sex with a jaguar. I imagine she's probably had sex IN a Jaguar, and FOR a Jaguar, I imagine WITH is a logical progression.)