Well, apparently, the LeBron James/Gisele Bundchen cover of Vogue is "racially insensitive"

Here it is.


"James strikes what some see as a gorilla-like pose, baring his teeth, with one hand dribbling a ball and the other around Bundchen's tiny waist."

I can't help but agree here. I can't believe how 'racially insensitive' this magazine is!!

At first I thought that they should just have put a different picture on the cover - until I saw the other options!!

I mean, look at this one!


It doesn't even have any black people in it at all!!! Apparently this photo was taken just after the photographer suggested that a black person be included in the shoot, and just before they simultaneously responded, "Are you fucking kidding me???"

Here are some other LeBron/Gisele shots.


This one (above), incredibly, shows Gisele 'holding down' LeBron as if to say, "I am white, I am better than you, and I will over-power you and push you down".


While they're not speaking, this photo speaks louder than words.

Gisele - "Look at my breasts! And while you're doing that, I'm going to pull this ball away from you because I control you!!"

LeBron - "I got my own ball n****!"

Also, more subtle, but no less blatantly racist is the shape that Gisele is contorting to. What does it look like?? Well, it looks like the 'greater than' sign (>). This picture, translated to words clearly says, "White > Black", and well, that's just not ok.


I'm really not sure what this picture depicts. One thing I am sure of though, is that it offends me to the very core of my being.

Now, on to the sexist pictures.


The man (on the right) is ahead of the woman, one step in front. She's trying desperately to catch up, to be equal, but the sexy cheerleader outfit has too much wind resistance and it's pulling her back. That's right, the sexy cheerleader stereotype is preventing the woman from being equal to the man.


This one, well, it really doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how this may be considered sexist. I could make up something up about him carrying her off to have sex with because he owns her or something, but I don't really think I have to make that up. It really does depict that. Disgusting, utterly disgusting. |

Man, it has been a while. What ever could I have been doing for the past month you ask? Well, not much. I did decide that it would be a good idea to take a painting class. Painting looks so easy. Well, news flash, it's not. Stupid instructor just splatters paint on paper and it looks like a river and some pine trees. I do it and it just looks like crap.

I got a new tv too. It's 46 inches of pure viewing pleasure. High definition is cool, but sometimes you see too much. Take the Oscars for example. Man, you can see every little wrinkle. And, (not that I was looking) the picture is so clear you can see the veins in Jessica Alba's breasts. I never would have thought that a picture of Jessica Alba's breasts would be "too clear".

What else... I got engaged. That's also new. We're going to Jamaica in July and we're getting hitched. There are like, 3 things to plan for a wedding in Jamaica and it's kinda stressful. I can't imagine planning a huge wedding here. Yech.

Anyways, thank you for asking where I was. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm sorry I've neglected this blog recently. I'll try to update more often, I promise. |

Special K is a cereal. Now, maybe I eat Special K because I like it, maybe it's because I believe it to be good for me, maybe it's because I just want to look like the people on the box. Who knows? One thing I do know is this - if I go to the United States and buy Special K, it doesn't look like the Special K that I buy in Canada. Why is that? What are "they" up to?



Look! They both say "Original"! Look at them! One is flat like Corn Flakes and the other doesn't look like Corn Flakes at all! One is not original. One is a dirty filthy liar.

Well, I decided that to find out why, the best way would be to go to the source. That's right, Mr. Kellogg himself. He didn't answer, but a Mr. Pablo A. Martinez from the Consumer Affairs Department did and he said the following:

Thank you for writing to us about Special K®.

We always look for ways to maximize our brands on a global basis while remaining sensitive to the local tastes and cultures within each market. Extensive market research helps us assess whether a brand can be successfully introduced in multiple markets. The formulation of the products is different due to the varying preferences when it comes to taste and texture in any given market.

We appreciate your interest in our company and products.

Huh? "Varying preferences when it comes to taste and texture in any given market"? Is that true?? Will Americans buy more Special K because it looks like Corn Flakes? Do Americans like Corn Flakes that much?? Or, I suppose, do Canadians dislike Corn Flakes that much? Come to think of it, the thought of those little flakes of 'corn' does kind of disgust me.

My in depth investigation also uncovered that Special K is also a drug.

Because I'm so thorough with my reporting, I thought I'd try it myself.



So, in closing, Special K is a healthy cereal that looks different depending on which county you live in. I don't recommend snorting it, just eat it like any other health conscious woman would. This is partly because it stings, and partly because after a while, you find that not only do you eat it at breakfast, you'll also find yourself needing it at lunch, dinner and then when you hit rock bottom, even snorting it off some hooker's chest in the back room of some filthy club.



Note: Sorry for the crappy photography in this post. It's not easy to do day-to-day things when you're hepped up on Special K. |

Yes, it's true, I've posted two days in a row!

Miss France gets to keep her crown! Not that anyone really cares. I imagine she probably has more to gain (money-wise) by posing naked in suggestive photos than she does as Miss France or Miss Universe*. If I were Valerie Begue, I wouldn't want the title "Miss France" to tarnish my reputation as a slut.

Regardless, these are both clearly for advertisements.

This one is for "100% Pure Satan's spooge". Now in a can! Gone are the embarassing days of sucking off some guy who claims to be Satan, only to find out that he's just some homeless guy who lives in the alley.



This one is for the "Crucifixion Water Mattress". Can't walk on water? Well, try lying on the water in this new crucifixion water mattress! Christians everywhere will be dying to try out this new product!



* - Miss Universe should probably be called "Miss Known Universe" as there may be some pretty hot women (or aliens, I suppose) that we just don't know about. It's pretty arrogant of us to have a Miss Universe pageant when we don't even invite anyone from outside our solar system. |

I've gone 31 years with no tiger attack, which, to borrow words from my girlfriend, "is about 10 years more than these chumps."

See? It's possible. You really have to be careful, especially when you know tigers are around.

The thing that annoys me is they shot the tiger. Tigers are endangered, morons are not. To look on the bright side, at least they'll have 4 more ashtrays in the giftshop. |

Why is the Special K that you buy in the States different than the Special K that you buy in Canada? American Special K is flatter, like Corn Flakes while the Canadian version is rounder, like Rice Krispies. Wouldn't you think that it all comes from the same factory in China somewhere? |

I was thinking about joining Facebook, but then I didn't. |