I'll Be Thinking of You, Down in Mexico

It's Oscar time, which means there are a lot of movies to be watched. Why do I have to wait until Oscar nominations to see movies you ask? Well, how else am I supposed to know which movies are good? Or, even more importantly, how else am I supposed to know which movies to like? Base it on my own objective opinions you say? Nah, it's much easier just to have someone else tell me.

Blood Diamond

This movie, more than any other movie ever, has really made me want to quit my job to go to Africa to smuggle diamonds. What a glamourous lifestyle. Guns, money and hot babes - what more can you ask for?

Letters From Iwo Jima

This movie, more than any other movie ever, has really made me want to quit my job to join the army. Shooting guns and digging holes on a warm sunny island somewhere in the south Pacific, with none of the stresses of office work? Sign me up.

Last King of Scotland

This movie, more than any other movie ever, has really made me want to quit my job to become the ruthless, psycho president of some third world country. Money, guns, booze and women, and you get to kill people you don't like? What's not appealing about that?

I may have missed the point on some of these movies, but if I've learned anything, I think it's that I need a new job.

Now, because I haven't updated in so long, I figure that I'll write one of those long blog posts that people look at and think, "Damn, this is too long, I'm not going to read it." I know you think that, because, well, that's what I think when I see a long post. Posts where you have to scroll down to read the whole thing are too long.

I'm going to Mexico next week. I'm going to watch whales. I've always liked whales, which might explain why my favourite book is Moby Dick. Anyways, if all goes as planned, this is what I'll be watching next week. Seriously though, Jessica Alba would be hotter if she'd gain a few pounds. She's looking a little skinny. Eat dammit!

Anyways, I think I'm off until after I get back. Hopefully I'll have many an amusing story about whales, and no amusing stories about explosive diarhhea and food poisoning.