Thursday, January 08, 2009

Update on Reality TV Dating Shows

As I've said before, I hate The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I find it pretty disgusting that they pretend that the show is about people finding true love, and then living happily ever after, when in reality, it's all about getting 2 or more people to "fall in love" with one person (or one person to "fall in love" with 2 people) and then watch as they go through emotional hell and then be crushed when they aren't chosen. Having said that, I did watch the first episode of The Bachelor this week, and it appears that it'll be full of heart-wrenching emotional destruction while Jason looks to recover from his public crushing at the hands of that vile Deanna (may have spelled that wrong, don't care to look it up). The show itself sucked, but the preview for the upcoming weeks was just full of torture. The producers of that show are so sadistic, it's kind of sad that we all find it so entertaining (it's also sad that nobody thinks it's a horrible show for what they do to poor saps like Jason). So, what can we look forward to?? Well, to torture Jason, they bring back Deanna. The beauty of this is, that they not only torture Jason, but they also torture her, AND, they also torture all the women who think that they're at some sort of disadvantage. Awesome. Where else could you possibly have provided that much emotional torture with only one thing? Brilliant. The tears and heart-ache in that preview almost makes me want to continue to watch. Almost. Why almost? Well, because in that preview they showed Jason 'proposing' to an unknown woman, whose identity they so cleverly concealed. Or did they?? That's right, I'm so superbly perceptive that I noticed something in that preview that (I believe) has given away the identity of the woman to whom Jason proposes. After a nauseating amount of rewinding and squinting and slow motion (that even my wife was growing tired of) I feel that I know who he picks. The beauty of this is, a) I can ruin the show for people (which may be mean, but, that show is horrid, so it shouldn't really be enjoyed anyway, unless you're evil) and b) I don't have to watch (except to revel in the emotional pain that people are going through while they get their hearts shredded on national tv). If you don't want to know who I think he picks and the associated 'evidence', then don't watch this video (it's not Lisa).

Next is possibly the greatest dating show ever. Better than Flava of Love, and better than A Shot at Love (with Tila Tequila). That's right, it's A Double Shot at Love with the Ikki Twins. Just when you thought it couldn't get any more dysfunctional than Tila Tequila's 12 dudes vs. 12 lesbians, we get dudes and lesbians, but they're competing for bi-sexual twins! You can tell the calibre of a dating show by how trashy the contestants are, and by that definition, this show is very low calibre. Anyway, that Bachelor part took a lot out of me, so I don't really have anything to say about the Ikki twins, other than it's odd that they call themselves 'ikki', and that I imagine that one will pick a dude, and the other will pick a lesbian, and in about 2 weeks, the Ikki twins will be back to obscurity - possibly porn, if they're lucky, and the 'winners' will be back to the trailer park. I guess the most important thing is that people's feelings will be hurt, they will cry, and they may be scarred and prevented from having a functional relationship in the future, and, really, isn't that what these shows are all about?

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