Paul: Hey Jack, do you really think that Jesus is coming? Like, really, really think that?
Jack:Oh yes! It's an exciting time. Did you know I wrote a prophecy bible?
Paul: Umm, yeah, actually, I did know that. Anyways, tell me about this "Rapture". I'm intrigued.
Jack: Well, the Lord shall descend from heaven with a shout, and the dead in Christ shall rise first then the living shall be caught up together with the dead and shall meet in the clouds and so shall we be forever with the lord - first Thessalonians 4 v 16-18.
Paul: So, how will we know? Like FOR SURE??
Jack: Well, we'll hear from the clouds "come up hither" revelation 4 vs 1 and we'll sweep through 187 trillion billion miles in the twinkling of an eye - 1st Corinthians 15 v 52. Oh, it's an exciting time!
Paul: Well, Jack, that's fascinating, but what you don't know is, that I've arranged for a special guest to verify some of these statements. May I introduce you to Jesus.
Paul: Jesus, or should I call you Mr. Christ?
Jesus: Jesus is fine, my son.
Paul: Thanks. So, Jesus, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Jack.
Jesus: Oh, I know Jack. I'm omnipotent you know...
Paul: Oh, right, sorry. Anyways, I have a few questions.
Jesus: Please proceed, my son.
Paul: Are you really going to say, "Come up hither?" I mean, "Hither"? Kids aren't going to know what you're talking about.
Jesus: Well, eventually I'll say that, Dad didn't write that into the Bible for nothing you know. I figure I'll say, "Come up....thither" or maybe, "Come on hither", just to mess with people. Wouldn't it be funny if people started looting? Christ...I mean, Damn, that'd be funny.
Jack has since passed out on the floor.
Paul: Ha! That would be funny. So, tell me, Hurricane Katrina: A sign of your return? Or were you just bored one day?
Jesus: It's hurricane season! That shit just happens! It's not easy to control the weather you know. The tsunami on the other hand. Who would have thought that an underwater earthquake would do that much damage? Colour my face red.
Paul: Yeah, you killed a lot of people. I mean, A LOT.
Jesus: Enough already, you don't think I hear this from God, like every day?! Now look what you've done. You've made me mad.
Jesus: I glow blue when I'm irritated.
Paul: Whoa. Calm down there guy. Oh, on an unrelated note, have you heard the one about you putting the nails down on the hotel counter??
Jesus: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME NOW??!!? YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR INSOLENCE. WHERE ARE YOU FROM???
Paul: Ummm, Pakistan. Yeah, Pakistan....
Swear to God, that happened.