Thursday, April 28, 2005

V8 is secretly trying to kill you!

I've stumbled across a startling plot by V8 that seems to indicate that they're trying to kill us all.

V8 says:

"A healthy diet rich in a variety of vegetables and fruit may help reduce the risk of some types of cancer."

If you look at 2 cans of V8 (from the same case of 24 that I bought because I'm too lazy to chew my vegetables) they look like this:

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Look at the can on the left, and then look at the can on the right. One says 2 servings, the other says 3. Well V8, which is it?? The small print on the can on the left says that there are 2 servings in 250 mL of V8. That means there is 125 mL in one serving, and (with a little math) 375 mL in 3 servings. AND, (this is where the conspiracy comes in) there ARE ONLY 340 mL IN A CAN. Yes, you heard right. I'm drinking my V8 thinking that I'm getting 3 servings because I want to maybe reduce the risk of some kind of cancer, and I'm only getting 2.7 servings! I've pieced this all together into a little flow chart summarizing my findings and it basically boils down to the fact that V8 is misleading us into thinking we're safe from cancer all the while they're buying shares in some pharmaceutical company that specializes in cancer medication. It's all true, except for that last part, I made that up.

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