Monday, August 01, 2005

Pelicans are Ugly, and some other things about Florida.

"What will I do first?" I thought to myself.

This is a dumb question, as I immediately knew what I've wanted to do for oh so long. That's right, I was going to harass wild dolphins. First I'd say, "Hey dolphin, you're fat, ugly, and nobody loves you!" Then, before the dolphin could turn away I'd yell, "Hey dolphin, there's a reason your kind are relegated to the water, we don't want your kind on land with us. That's right! You're just a dolphin and that's all you'll ever be!" Then, just as I though he could take no more I'd say, "Hey, I think I saw your mom at Sea World, she sure is good at doing embarrassing tricks for dead fish!" Then I'd chuck a dead fish at him and say, "Hey! Do a trick like your mom!" Then I'd point, laugh, and start feeling pretty good about myself. Man, it'd be a great time.

As I arrived at the pier, getting ready for my tirade, I was horrified to see this sign.

(Which, is a pretty dumb looking sign. It seems to me to be saying this.)

I continued on to harass this ugly pelican, but it just wasn't the same.

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