Monday, July 19, 2004

Pets, yet again...

Well, the topic of the week seems to be pets, so here's another article.  For $1000/year, you can bury your pet in a pet cemetery.  (The article mentions Hong Kong, but I imagine there are pet cemeteries here)
I don't get it.  Am I that cold-hearted?  (Is there a by-law against burying the cat in the backyard??  If not, that's where they're going.)

The price also includes grooming of the dead pet, a coffin and a personalised tombstone, the report added.
Grooming the dead pet??  Why?  Because it's an open casket??  A coffin??  How much extra is a shoebox anyways??  I just bought shoes, if you want a kitty coffin, I'll sell you one (it's a Nike, a big name in kitty coffins).  If the dog is bigger, I suppose you could use a bigger box, maybe for a tv, or stereo (I hear the JVC line of doggy coffins is decent), or maybe an old blanket!!  Regardless, I have pet coffins of all sizes!!  Personalized tombstone?? 
"RIP little Sparky.  With the money you spent on this tombstone, you could have replaced him 10 times over"

"We are bringing pet owners a peaceful and garden-like environment where they can visit their pets at a serene resting place," cemetery director Gabriel Ho said.
Who visits a dead pet??  Visit the pet store, or humane society!  Get another freakin' pet!  I have an idea, bury the dog in the backyard, then you can visit him all the time for free!! 

Ho's animal-psychic sister Elaine will also be on hand so owners can keep in touch with their pets beyond the grave, the report added.
Right.  That'll speed up the healing process.  Plus, it's the dude's sister.
I've never mentioned this before, but I'm an animal psychic as well.  If you have recently deceased pets, let me know, and I'll contact them for you.
Paul (the animal psychic) : I see a cat.
Sad Mourner : Fido turned into a cat??
Paul : ...And right beside that cat is Fido!  Fido is humping someone's leg, peeing on the floor because nobody let him out, and barking for no reason.  Now he's begging for food, and wiping his ass on the carpet!
Sad Mourner : That's amazing!  You really do see Fido!  How is he??
Paul : HE'S DEAD YOU IDIOT.  That'll be $100 please.

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