What would you do for $4.00??

Tonight, while driving home, I noticed that the price of gas had skyrocketed up to 84.5 cents/litre!! Now, I personally don't really care how much gas costs. When I need it, I buy it. Anyways, the next gas station I came across (about 30 seconds down the road) was also 84.5 cents/litre. Now, the NEXT one was only, get this, 73.5 cents/litre!! Oh....my....goodness!! Do you know what that means?? Well, nothing to me, but for a large number of people it meant lining up and crowding into this gas station trying to take advantage of 'cheap' gas. I find this annoying, mainly because, if you think about it, 30 litres of gas, at a saving of 12 cents/litre, is less than $4. Is it really worth lining up for, for sake of argument, 20 minutes, idling in the street to save $4?? I don't think so. I suppose for some it might be, but I can't really imagine someone being so hard up that they 'needed' to save $4 in gas. What happens to them when the average price increases to 84.5 cents/litre? Do they start selling all their worldly possessions in order to fill up their Expedition's gas tank? Those poor, poor people.

Nobuhiro Sugawara Video!!!!

Ok, don't say I don't care about all you little people. I have had numerous hits from Google searching for the Nobuhiro Sugawara video of him scoring on his own net. In case you don't know, he's a Japanese hockey player playing in the World Championships. Now, when I first heard this, I thought, "well, he was probably trying to clear it, and accidentally shot it into his own net". Nope, he shot it right in, and thought he scored afterwards as he immediately threw his arms up in the air. His excitement quickly turned into embarassment when he realized what he had done. It is priceless. Anyways, since there seemed to be some interest, I went and found it. The title is "Sugawarův vlastní gól poslal Japonsko do boje o záchranu". It's at the bottom of the page, you'll have to scroll down. If the link doesn't work, right click and open in new window seems to. You'll have to watch the other goals for about 25 seconds, but it's well worth the wait. Enjoy!!

Join Millions Around the Globe! This is Jack Van Impe Presents!! (aired April 24)

In case you don't know, Dr. Jack Van Impe (pronounced "Impey") and his wife Rexella have a weekly tv show where they discuss important relevant topics and then tell you where in the bible it says that it's a sign that Jesus is coming. And that you're going to hell. This week's topic? Who knows? Same as every week.

0:51 – Ha ha ha, Rexella is wearing crazy pink glasses! Man, she looks stupid. They’re huge, kinda like Elton John’s old ones. No, she’s not trying to be glamorous, she had eye surgery. Whatever the reason, she looks ridiculous.

11:00 - Oh yippee! The Animals in Heaven offer has been extended ONE WEEK!! Hurry up, if you’ve somehow managed to suppress the urge to buy this video, it’s not too late!

You know, after watching this show for a while now, I’ve kind of noticed that they’re all the same. Jack is a raving lunatic, Rexella is a ditz, and most of the time she doesn’t even read the headline correctly. Jack lives on the unwavering hope that Jesus is coming to take him away.
AND, the whole point of this show is that Jack truly believes that the Lord is coming!! Well, why wouldn’t he? Everything in the news has a bible passage corresponding to it that links it to the second coming of Christ! Oh, it’s an exciting time. AIDS, terrorism, asteroids, earthquakes, etc. all mean that Christ is coming. Well, I have a question for Jack, you can find stuff like this pretty much every decade for the past 2000 years!! Christ passed up those opportunities for a visit, why does he think this year, or this decade is any different?? I’m sure Jack’s father was convinced that the A-bomb, and the Holocaust were sure signs that Christ was coming, and I’m sure Jack’s father’s father thought the same thing. Polio and the plague were worse than AIDS for killing people, asteroids have been around before, terrorism and violence??? Yeah, I think history has had some sporadic violent outbursts. Basically every bible passage that can be associated with a current event can also be associated with about 1000 other events that have happened before. Jack’s a nut. How this show remains on the air I’ll never know.

Oh man, get this. Someone actually wrote to Jack saying that she was all torn up inside because she didn’t want some heathen “unsafe person” to look after her dog after the Lord comes and she gets ‘raptured away’. She was so burdened. Well good news, you freak, the dog goes with you!!! I can’t imagine anyone losing any sleep over what happens to little Sparky when the Lord comes to take them away. What would it be like to know someone like that? Do they need the bible to function? How do you live your life according to some weird old book? Why would you do that? Why do we give them a tv show? Why do we give them our hard earned money?

Anyways, Rexella's glasses are priceless, you should at least check them out....

Team Canada.....we're screwed.

It's World Championship hockey time again! That means that the NHL players who aren't sulking over a crappy season head out to represent Canada (or wherever they're from) in the World Championships. We don't usually have a great team, basically because the play-offs get in the way, and a lot of our best players can't make it. Anyways, if you look at the standings, Canada is third behind Austria and Switzerland, and has scored fewer goals than both. Yikes. We did manage to beat France this morning, but that's not saying much.

Other Games:

Latvia 3, Khazahkstan 1



Look at the goalie for Khazahkstan! Hey guy, the goalie STOPS the puck. I think they pick the goalie before the game by throwing sticks. Judging by this picture, Latvia didn't have many more than 3 shots on net...

Denmark 4, Japan 3



Defenseman Nobuhiro Sugawara (pictured above being congratulated by team Denmark), accidentally shot the puck straight into the yawning Japanese net after a nice move and centering pass from Bo Nordby Andersen.

"Unfortunately that part of the game could happen to any one of us," said Japan's Chris Bright.

Huh? So you all suck?

That's pretty funny... Anyways, GO CANADA!!!

Ooooh, Pictures!!

Well, I've taken blogging to a whole new level. Now I have pictures!! I'd say my golf swing looks pretty good. What I didn't document with a picture was the 10 minutes I spent looking for that ball in the woods. Stupid golf....

Join Millions Around the Globe! This is Jack Van Impe Presents!! (aired April 17)

In case you don't know, Dr. Jack Van Impe (pronounced "Impey") and his wife Rexella have a weekly tv show where they discuss important relevant topics and then tell you where in the bible it says that it's a sign that Jesus is coming. And that you're going to hell. This week's topic? Who knows? Same as every week.

Jack says that a 104 year old parrot, described as ‘Nazi cursing’ may not get into heaven. I’m not sure why he says that, especially since he’s been pushing that Animals in Heaven DVD for the past few months. Actually, Jack has mentioned parrots in previous shows. Hmmm, parrots are animals that just regurgitate possibly meaningless words or sentences and don’t really have any intelligent thoughts at all. They just repeat the same things over and over again, whether it makes sense or not. I think Jack and the parrot have a lot in common.
Jack says that sales of the Animals in Heaven DVD will beat all records in history. I don’t think so Jack. Deep Throat probably sold more copies….

Jack spends a lot of time this episode bashing pastors and ministers who maybe stray a little bit from the conventional way of preaching. They introduce ‘fun’ things to try to draw people in, and maybe focus less on all the hell and sin talk. Jack claims they’re all going to hell, and they won’t be born again with talk like that. Well, Jack, I think you’re an idiot. If you’re going to focus your displeasure at a group, why not make it a group who doesn’t even go to church? Or people who kill people? That’s arguably worse than a minister who doesn’t teach exactly what you do… Dork.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK??? Where was god on 9/11?? Who knows? Probably watching CNN like the rest of us.

The Root of my distaste for (some) Leaf Fans

When Conan O'Brien was in Toronto a few months back, I watched the shows. I like Conan O'Brien, I think he's a funny guy, and it was good to see him come to Canada for a week. I'm sure the ratings were crap in the States, but he did it anyways. Regardless, what does this have to do with the Leafs you ask? WELL, of the 4 nights Conan was here, how many do you think contained individuals repeatedly yelling out "GO LEAFS!!"?? Did I hear anyone say all four?? Conan wasn't talking about hockey, the show had little to do with hockey, why on earth do Torontonians feel the need to yell "GO LEAFS!" at a non-hockey venue?? Am I wrong in saying that the Leafs shouldn't be on someone's mind while they are watching a Conan O'Brien show? It doesn't make sense, and typically, things that don't make sense bother me. Do you think that if Conan were in Ottawa the audience would have repeatedly interrupted him with "GO SENS!!", or if in Montreal, "GO HABS!!"? No, of course not. Why would they? I was embarassed when watching those shows because it makes us out to be a bunch of slack-jawed, rowdys who don't think about anything but hockey. There is more to being Canadian than that. I'm a hockey fan, I like it, I watch it, but if I'm walking down the street at 2 pm, I'm not thinking, "Man, those LEAFS are great, my universe revolves around them, so I hope they make it the next round as without them my life has no meaning".

GO LEAFS!!!!!!!!

YAY!! The Leafs won!!! They're going to win the Cup you know.... They are the best team ever put together by anyone, anytime, anywhere. If the Leafs had to play against a team of all Wayne Gretzkys, with a few Mario Lemieuxs, and they were shooting on a net that was filled in with bricks then they'd still win, because they're the best team EVER!!! Just like last year, and the year before.

This rules....

This site is pretty cool. I'm sure you can really piss off the religious types with this.

Woo Hoo!!!

Habs win! Habs win! Take that Boston!!

Canadiens Win!!

Well, that should be it, too bad Kovalev is such an idiot.... Why Perreault didn't play in games 2 and 3 I'll never know.

My Purpose in Life

While reading the National Post last year, I noticed a small blurb about the crokinole world championships. How exciting! This may be my one and only chance to be the world champion in anything. I'm young, physically fit, and sharp as a tack, I think I'll take that tournament by storm.

Hey! Take me seriously!!!

Women of the Apprentice!!. Just remember, they're successful intelligent women tired of being objects. They're more than just pretty faces you know. Their legs and asses aren't bad either.....

Good Idea

I personally think this is a good idea. Why not give someone some incentive to do well? If you want to influence behaviour, you have to make the individual want to do well. Helping them pay for college is a good way to do it. The only problem I can see is that it's kind of discriminating against the stupid kids who really try but just can't get As. It's not really fair to them, they just sit there, furrowing their brows, scratching their heads, trying to figure out why you can't just add 1/4 + 1/2 to get 2/6. Although, if you're too dumb to get As in highschool, then you'd best get used to the world being 'unfair'. Plus, if everyone went to college, who'd pump our gas and pick up our garbage????

Join millions around the globe!! This is Jack Van Impe presents!!!! (aired April 11, 2004)

In case you don't know, Dr. Jack Van Impe (pronounced "Impey") and his wife Rexella have a weekly tv show where they discuss important relevant topics and then tell you where in the bible it says that it's a sign that Jesus is coming. And that you're going to hell. This week's topic? Who knows? Same as every week.

1:00 – Rexella asks us if Jesus is the only way to heaven. Then she goes on to say that today on this program she wants to make it clear. (that’s a shock. That’s a big change from every other week.) The answer is either yes or no… HA! That’d be hilarious. Picture this:

Rexella: Hey Jack, is Jesus the only way to heaven?
Jack: No. This bible is garbage, and I’m full of it!!***

*** I just made that part up. Jack didn’t really say that.

3:45 – Jack tells a joke!! Oh, it’s a good one. It’s about a woman with a mean husband. So, the woman dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter says, “before I let you in, you must spell one word – Love”. “Oh”, says the woman, “that’s easy L-O-V-E”. Sure enough, she gets in. Then 3 weeks later, St. Peter needs to ‘tend to some business’ so he asks the woman to watch the gate for him. Well, when she’s there, who arrives at the gate but her mean old husband! So, the woman says, “before you may enter, you have to spell a word, it’s Czechoslovakia!!” Jack and Rexella laugh and laugh. Czechoslovakia!! There’s no way he’ll spell that right!! In all seriousness, there’s a moral to this joke I think. If you’re a jerk, you’d best be a good speller.

10:00 – Jack clarifies the point that he does not think the world is going to end. I actually don’t think Jack thinks too much at all. He basically takes what the bible says at face value and doesn’t seem to have any independent thoughts at all.

13:00 – Rexella tells us that the OFFER OF THE WEEK is coming to an end. No more Animals in Heaven DVD!! Hurry, get one quick (I’ll tell you how it ends, the animals will be heaven, save your $30). Jack’s used the word “Dogmatic” 3 times already. I think he’s learned a new word. Definitely appropriate though.

15:25 – Rexella shows us some headlines. One of particular interest is about ethnic cleansing in Sudan. It’s funny how she’s concerned about the global issues, like ethnic cleansing and terrorism, but seems more concerned about the fact that if you don’t hurry, you’ll miss out on your chance to get an Animals in Heaven DVD. Innocent people are being killed? So what? What's really important is knowing whether or not Sparky be in heaven waiting for you.

16:45 - Oh wait, that’s not the point, Jack just wants to demonstrate once again that what the bible says about terrorism being global all points to the fact that Jesus is coming!! We don’t care about the terrorism because it’s serving a purpose! It’s a SIGN!! Oh, there it is, Jack says, “we’re not worried about the terrorists, we’ve got a comforting hope that He is coming soon”. Some of us ARE worried about the terrorists Jack. Some of us don't live in a fantasy world where the only important issues are ones that can be loosely associated with a bible passage. Actually, he just said that we’ll all rise up to heaven but earlier he said that Jesus was coming back to sit on the throne of David in Jerusalem. Make up your mind Jack, which is it? Am I going to heaven or Jerusalem? I don't really want to go to Jerusalem. Does that mean that my long dead kitty is in Jerusalem too?

21:00 – Jack reports that a woman from Uzbek says, “I am against suicide bombing because our god Allah and our Koran prohibit this. It’s against the teachings of Islam.” Then Jack says, “I wish she’d show that to BIN Laden”. (emphasis on the ‘Bin’) Ha! Too bad Jack probably believes that. Not everyone looks to a book to tell them what to do Jack. Jack’s profound statement of the day. Islam isn’t Christianity. No kidding. Really?? Christianity says you should love your enemies, Bin Laden likes to kill the infidels. What’s the point Jack? Oh yes, Jesus is coming. Right.

24:00 – Jack says to get ready to meet Jesus. Ok Jack, I’m ready. His prayer. Same old same old. And I still haven’t met Jesus.

24:51 – QUESTION OF THE WEEK!!! “What is your opinion concerning the tv special ‘Jesus and Paul’”. (I don’t know what this is, nor do I care to look it up). Jack refused to watch the show. He didn’t want to hear the experts say bad things about Jesus. He says, "These apostates will deny Jesus", but of course he already knew that, as again, the bible says so.

26:35 – Rexella talks again about the Animals in Heaven DVD. Again, she tells us that the video proves that animals will be in heaven. For those of us who trust her, that’s all we need to hear. Thanks for saving me 30 bucks Rexella.

27:00 - Ok, this is gold. Rexella’s words of wisdom, her little tidbit to live by is the following:

“The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor”

Wow Rexella, I like your style. ;-)

Maxim Caption!!!

Well, my streak of one winner in a row has come to a halt. It was nice while it lasted. Anyways, last week's winner doesn't really make much sense to me. "Pretty Fly for a White Guy"? What does that have to do with that caption? Whatever.
Ok, here's this week's:

"Eeeew, now my armpit smells like feet!".

I hope they don't mind crowning me the winner again so soon because that's GOLD.

Best 8-bit Nintendo Game

I came across a site talking about how you'd rate the top 5 8-bit Nintendo games. (I'd link to it, but I can't remember where it was.) Anyways, interesting topic, and I think my list would look something like this:

5. Super Mario Brothers. This was the first game I played with more than one level. Why would I take the warp to level 4 when I knew the castle was at the end of level 1? Princess isn't in that one. Outrageous.
4. Tetris. So simple, so addictive, so frustrating.
3. The Legend of Zelda. Huge world, no maps, lots of secrets and puzzles.
2. Baseball Stars. Best sports game I've ever played. Good graphics, great play control, build your own team, name all the players. Just press in reset when you shut off the power or it's all over but the crying. And trust me, there was crying.
1. Metroid. Best. Game. Ever. Hands down, the best game. Huge world, no maps, tons of secret passageways, cool characters, and you could get stuck in the lava between two huge pillars and not be able to get out. That's the kind of sadistic feature I'd put into a game, that and the annoyingly long password.

World's Biggest Idiot??

Well, since Jack's latest show hasn't been posted yet, I'm stuck with this. Might this man be the world's biggest idiot? What would possess a man (or woman) to throw away over $100 000.00? What's that you say? He won? Sure, but he could just as easily have lost, and regardless of the fact that he won, it was a stupid thing to do.

"It's really down to my friends and family and Mum and Dad," he told Reuters Television on Sunday. "I knew even if I lost I'd always have a home to go to."

Not if he were my friend he wouldn't. If someone I knew did that, and lost, I don't think I'd be letting them mooch off of me. Not for a second. Now, if something tragic happened, like a fire, or flood, then of course I'd be there to help, but if the decision to throw all your money down the toilet was a conscious one, then sorry pal, you've made your bed, you lie in it.

The Significance of Easter

Easter. What does it mean to me? Well, it's a time where we all must sit back and think about why we're all here, and give thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ for selflessly giving his life for the sake of all mankind. That, and this. Ha! Look at 'im, you just poke and poke, and he just takes it!! Stupid bunny.

What does that have to do with Easter, you might ask? The answer? Nothing, except for the fact that it's a bunny, and, because we like to take all religious references out of religious holidays, bunnies are associated with Easter. I'm not aware of a "Poke Jesus" site, so you're stuck with the rabbit.

Stupid People

Sometimes you just want to smack some morons upside the head. The parents of this kid would be 2 such morons. While I agree that the principal should not have washed the kid's hair, the kid shouldn't have had blue hair to begin with.

He's not hurting anyone," Levey Padocs Sr. said. "He's an individual, and that's how he's expressing his individuality."

Right. I don't think so. What individuality? He's 6 years old! It's the parents who are expressing THEIR individuality, and they're using their poor son to do it.

Levey Padocs Jr.'s father said he allowed his son to get the distinctive 'do more than a month ago for behaving better in class.

This is funny because it implies that the kid wasn't behaving well in class before. I think this kid probably has some issues other than blue hair. What constitutes good behaviour in kindergarten? Playing nice with other children, sharing, co-operating, learning to interact with others in a social environment? I wonder how giving the kid a blue mohawk is going to improve any of that...